The Amazing World Of Bethany [Sarcastic]

Should I Be Happy I'm Sixteen Soon?

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:23:12 +0100

Ok.. Little bit bummed out here.
I'm sixteen on the 25th January, and atm we're planning my bday party.
but i have a feeling i'm going to ahte it.
not cause of what we're doing, its what i want to do... but because of my origianl plans.

and the fact that i miss ben so damn much, and i cant do anything about it.

i dont want to do anything about it.

it's three months since we broke up on the 23rd december, and six months since we met. and i want to erase him, but he was such a big part of my life.

things weren't supposed to go this way.

by now i wasn't supposed to be a virgin anymore, i was suposed to be with him, still be with him.

i actually hate this all, it absolutley sucks.

i mean, i love the way i am now.. i'm more confident around the right people... and i'm loved by my friends mroe than ever. and i'm getting baptised soon.

i just wish i could share it with him.

i wish it was him i was slow dancing with at my sixteenth.

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I'm with you... Or am I?

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 18:53:32 +0200

Howdy.
Sorry I havent been on for ages. but alots happened.
I broke up with Ben, hence the title of this blog. && its like, wow i didn't see that one coming.
We broke up on the 23rd September.
Exactly a year after I saw Mcfly at Wembley.
Exactly three months after we got together.

Basically, he was being really off with me on saturday evening after i went offline, and then it turned out he was talking to my best Joey. and i like, trusted Joey.

Anyway, so i go online Sunday morning (Church wasn't on til 3 that afternoon) and Matt (Ben's best mate) comes online and starts asking me stuff.
Like.
'Is it true you're not allowed up town without your parents?' and i'm like WTF!?!?!

Turns out, the night before, Ben, Matt and Joey were bitching about me for about four hours, and it all comes out to my mate Bev, who tells me cause we're proper close.

So i break up with Ben via text.

And he texts back saying 'blah blah blah. was going to break up with you later anyway. do you seriously think i went around calling you my girlfriend? haha! anyway, i've had a girlfriend, Vicki, for two years. how about that for an anniversary? haha. you were a bitch to matt blah blah blah'

and i was like FFS! so i was like, crying down th phone to Rach, and she screwed at Ben.

And then I rang Liam after to tell him. && he screwed at Ben, in a convo with Ben and Matt. AND THEN!

right
i'm ashamed to admit this.
I sent Ben some videos... and he was like... i'll never show anyone
we break up.
he sends them to matt
and tries to send them to Liam.
BUT liam screws at him.

I do a flute thing infront of 300 peeps (which went amazingly)
BEN texts me during it.
'Hope your flute thing goes ok'
i'm like WTF! you told me that and you're being nice?

so i texted him after telling him to stuff it.
and he's texting me for the next two hours 'what ya doing?'

so i went 'talking to a guy i like'
and he went 'why you tell me that? trying to make a point?'
and i said 'why not?'
and he said 'oh get a grip. grow up a get a real boyfriend'

and we havent spoken since

BUUUT. my best mate James (who i've liked for aggeeeeeesss) came up to me afterwoulds, and i think Grace must have told him cause he just held me for ages. it was sooo sweet

but yeah.

I'm now at the bit where i'm finally accepting Ben's gone.
And i'm finding it hard tbh.

i have never been good with break ups.

Comments

Wow, Second scribble in a day!

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:39:14 +0200

Well, Basically I have a problem.
Ben's best mate Matt, Is trying to splitt me and Ben up.
While Ben was on holiday in Spain, Matt told me some stuff about Ben, which made me go mad, and i broke up with him until i realised it might not neccisarily be true and i got back with him.
Matt told me that Ben had seen a stripper and licked cream out of her... pussy... lol And then kissed her after the show.
Since then i've spoken to Ben and he said that when his brother had offered him a lap dance [his brother works in a lap dancing club] he always refused cause he had a gf [me lol] and i believe Ben cause I knwo when he's lieing.
And then, i find out that yesterday,EVEN though Matt knows me and Ben are dating, went and arranged for him and ben to go out with a couple of girls on the 'pull'.
Ben turned round and went 'I got a girlfriend you dickhead' but I just hate the fact that Ben's best mate hates me.
It's really confusing cause i dont knwo what i've done.
I'm also really pissed off cause Matt is leading Joey on and making her think he likes her, then going on the pull with someone else.
It's like WTF?!?? And then he's also lieing to Joey about shit.
I want to tell Joey cause she's my best mate and i dont want her to get hurt but Ben has made me promise not to tell her.
Best Friend or Boyfriend?
I know she won't go mad about it if she finds out i did know, she's not like that. I just hate picking up the mess, again.

Listening to Paramor atm, Anyone noticed that Thats What You Get sounds simular to Love and Pain - New Found Glory?

Btw, the best album ever is coming home by new found glory, it's complelty changed my life.
Best song by far is When I Die, it's just so amazing.

So yeah, help with matt!!
Thanks
xxxxx

Comments

Got My Timetable! JOY.

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 13:23:03 +0200

Ok, so i got my timetable.
Some teachers are ok, some teachers are UGH.

Guide Of Teachers For Year 11:
Geography: Miss Willats (Omg! love her! she's actually amazing!! no jokes! She brought me up from a F grade to a C grade in one half term!! so glad i have her again)

Science: LB (New Teacher do not have a CLUE who he/she is I'll give you an update of how he/she is.)

Maths: Mr Cason (Brilliant Teacher. Just dont like him. He's scary lol which i guess is a bit pathetic. i had to go out and a buy a scientific calculator! grrr.)

English: Ms Barratt (THANK FUCKING GOD. This teacher is my favourite teach EVER. She is amazing and my most trusted teacher. I get on sooo well with her!!)

French: Mrs Hughes (Oh Dear, She's really sweet, but i can see I'm gunna fail this subject)

Drama: Ms Barratt (Again, same comment as English, perfer her in Drama though. She's more relaxed

History: Mrs Collinson (Yessssss... She's amazing! have learnt so much with her. Although, all round we have an amazing history department so its all good (Y))

ICT: PF (New Teacher. Fuck It.)

Religious Studies: Mrs Church (Never Changes, But she is my new Form Tutor so it's all good (Y)She's really nice and i've always got on with her)

PE: Mrs Smith (Would have perfered Miss Simmons, but Mrs Smith Isn't too bad i guess)

And Thats it!!!!
OMG! i got my result for my RS gcse from last year, C 4 marks away from a B! so if i resit it and get a B, or 80 marks I have more of a chance of getting an A in RS!!! woop! so happy about that!!

Not looking forward to school :/ It's gunna be a suckish year i can tell. I am not looking forward to slutty holly.
Cannot stand her.
Never have been able to.

It's all about My best mate Joey, Me and her have a friendship which is the best and Holly's jealous of it and ugh. she's so pathetic.

She actually turned around to me and went 'You're only into your music to get with Joey' I was like wtf!?!?!??! where did THAT come from.
Sure Joey's been into the same music longer but Rach got me into my music. ughhh.

I hate my sister Beki, She fucking pisses me off, I came on here at 10 to one, it's now half one and she's kicking me off even though we're supposed to have an hour at a time.

I think I'm happier about going into year 11 then i was year 10, I had just ocme out of a six month relationship at the begginning of year 10, and it really took my toll on me, and maybe, next time, when i have more time I'll tell you about what happened afterwoulds.

But Ben has given me so much confidence it's unbelieveable. Every one of my friends have noticed it. He's so sweet, Yesterday on MSN he went to me:

(L)BETHANY IS THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD(L): oooooooooooo ok. but plz find it in your kind beautiful heart to do more

I adore him. He makes me feel so alive and the song Moment - Aiden truly shows my feelings for him.

GOOGLE THEM LYRICS!!!

Ben's amazing. And I cant tell my parents I'm going to Reading cause they dont even let me get the bus on my own, let alone the train! I'm just going to have to do it. I have to make my own mistakes, I can't live in my parents shadows or I'm afraid I wont have any teen years to look back on. It wont effect my GCSESs, i wont let it. My work, My Friends, My Boyfriend and My Music are the most important things in my life.
I wont give them up.

I just need to make my own choices and my own mistakes, How am i supposed to learn, or even grow up to be an adult with experiance in the situations if my parents dont let me.

I also particaully blame thme for this for giving me the stupid rule 'no dating til i'm sixteen unless they're christians' i dont even particually believe in it all anymore.

I'm Bethany, I'm 15 and I lvoe my friends, music and boyfriend.
If they can't handle that then fine, but surely they should accept thats who i am, and who i'm gunna be.

xxx

Comments

Fuckety Fuck Fuck

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:14:18 +0200

So, Wow, it all starts tommorrow. Year 11.
I remember starting year seven, now it's all changing.
I guess i should tell you all about myself.
My name's Bethany, not Beth, always hated it, why i dont know but hey. moving on.
I'm 15 and i live in England, UK.
I have three of the most amazing best friends in the world. Joey, Rach and Adam.
I have an amazing Boyfriend, Ben. I really love him, yet i've never met him. I know he loves me and i feel so connected to him, even though he lives 80 miles away.
We've been dating for two months, and I know what you're thinking 'oh, she's only 15, she doesnt know a thing about love, esecially when they've been together only two months' but we've been through so much! and i trust him with my whole life.
Where i live, i dont have a lot of friends, people dont tend to like to get to know me at my school cause i'm different. I'm classed as the outcast grunger.
The chavs hate me.
The Emos, or as me and Joey call them, Jessemos hate me.
The unpopular hate me.
I dont really know why though, i keep my head down, do my work, and those friend who do know me are amazing and i love them so much.
I have alot of friends off of the internet, and my parents find it difficult to deal with, but i dont. cause you know that they are the ones who accept you for your personality.
I've been through everything with Rach, and i'm not going to say what. But i've known her for two years and it's been the best two years of my life.
Same with Adam, he's amazing and ALWAYS makes me laugh.
The one person i really am thankful for is Joey.
She is the one person from my school who always rings me and gets together with me, and vice versa.
i do alot of things with her, i tell her alot of things asweel, sometimes it pisses Ben off cause i talk to Joey about issues.
But he accepts that i need to talk to people sometime.
I love rock music, or as Ben would class 'shit music'
My Favourite Bands are New Found Glory and Paramore, they've both changed my life.
I love Avenged Sevenfold, I think their guitaring is amazing and i go hyper on it!
I love Enter Shikari, me and Joey go asosolute skiz when we hear them and spazz majourly.
Music is a main part of my life, I play flute and Bass. They're my main two instruments but i can play others. I love to sing, and i've been told i'm not too bad either.
I have three very overprotective friends, Stacey, Liam and Will.
My adoptive brothers and sisters.
Stacey goes absoulute skitz if anyone says anything against me, same with Liam and Will.
I'm so thankful i have them cause i can talk to them about anything at all.
So why am I writing a blog?
I have so many feelings going around inside my head i just need to get themout and i don't like talking about them with my friends.
My parents really get to me, As strict Christians, they wont let me lead my own life. I'm not allowed to make my own mistakes, for example. I'm not allowed to go to gigs in London, even with a massive group of friends, unless they're there. and i am NOT taking my parents to a Enter Shikari gig. Wow they would hate it.
I've seen McFly live three times. they were good gigs, but i've grown out of them now.
As i grew out of McFly, i grew out of an amazing friendship with my best mate, Bev, that really hurt me. and i can't be bothered to go into circumstances, but basically she said some really hurtfull stuff and i hate her.
Which is sad.
I'm doing 11 GCSES.
English, Maths, Science, PE, Geography, History, French, Drama, Religious Studies, ICT, and i can never remember the last one lol
I get all good grades, and I'm a prefect.
My parents, even though I'm sure they dont mean to, put me down alot, i feel a real pressure to get amazing results for my GCSES. And i always feel the pressure to do better than my little sister Beki. But that wont happen.
So I'm a Christian, yes I am, i believe in the whole Jesus died for our sins stuff.
But not the whole sex before marriage stuff. I am still a virgin, but that will hopefully all change in October when i go and see Ben.
He goes to a private school, and has to go to school on saturdays, whcih means i cant see him then! ugh life sucks.
Whats my main poblem at the moment?
My parents.
I need to tell them about Ben, but i cant until after October.
Cause i want to see him at least once before I tell them.
How Should I Tell Them?
Dont expect anyone will read this, or anyone will comment back.
but if you are, give me advice please.
I really need it.

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