Ok.. Little bit bummed out here.
I'm sixteen on the 25th January, and atm we're planning my bday party.
but i have a feeling i'm going to ahte it.
not cause of what we're doing, its what i want to do... but because of my origianl plans.

and the fact that i miss ben so damn much, and i cant do anything about it.

i dont want to do anything about it.

it's three months since we broke up on the 23rd december, and six months since we met. and i want to erase him, but he was such a big part of my life.

things weren't supposed to go this way.

by now i wasn't supposed to be a virgin anymore, i was suposed to be with him, still be with him.

i actually hate this all, it absolutley sucks.

i mean, i love the way i am now.. i'm more confident around the right people... and i'm loved by my friends mroe than ever. and i'm getting baptised soon.

i just wish i could share it with him.

i wish it was him i was slow dancing with at my sixteenth.