Howdy.
Sorry I havent been on for ages. but alots happened.
I broke up with Ben, hence the title of this blog. && its like, wow i didn't see that one coming.
We broke up on the 23rd September.
Exactly a year after I saw Mcfly at Wembley.
Exactly three months after we got together.

Basically, he was being really off with me on saturday evening after i went offline, and then it turned out he was talking to my best Joey. and i like, trusted Joey.

Anyway, so i go online Sunday morning (Church wasn't on til 3 that afternoon) and Matt (Ben's best mate) comes online and starts asking me stuff.
Like.
'Is it true you're not allowed up town without your parents?' and i'm like WTF!?!?!

Turns out, the night before, Ben, Matt and Joey were bitching about me for about four hours, and it all comes out to my mate Bev, who tells me cause we're proper close.

So i break up with Ben via text.

And he texts back saying 'blah blah blah. was going to break up with you later anyway. do you seriously think i went around calling you my girlfriend? haha! anyway, i've had a girlfriend, Vicki, for two years. how about that for an anniversary? haha. you were a bitch to matt blah blah blah'

and i was like FFS! so i was like, crying down th phone to Rach, and she screwed at Ben.

And then I rang Liam after to tell him. && he screwed at Ben, in a convo with Ben and Matt. AND THEN!

right
i'm ashamed to admit this.
I sent Ben some videos... and he was like... i'll never show anyone
we break up.
he sends them to matt
and tries to send them to Liam.
BUT liam screws at him.

I do a flute thing infront of 300 peeps (which went amazingly)
BEN texts me during it.
'Hope your flute thing goes ok'
i'm like WTF! you told me that and you're being nice?

so i texted him after telling him to stuff it.
and he's texting me for the next two hours 'what ya doing?'

so i went 'talking to a guy i like'
and he went 'why you tell me that? trying to make a point?'
and i said 'why not?'
and he said 'oh get a grip. grow up a get a real boyfriend'

and we havent spoken since :)

BUUUT. my best mate James (who i've liked for aggeeeeeesss) came up to me afterwoulds, and i think Grace must have told him cause he just held me for ages. it was sooo sweet :)

but yeah.

I'm now at the bit where i'm finally accepting Ben's gone.
And i'm finding it hard tbh.

i have never been good with break ups.